So I am Cage Free Momma, so what exactly does that mean?
Well, to be honest, the phrase, for me, means several things. The most obvious is I have a heavy stance in favor of cosleeping, and eliminating the use of cribs as they are used in many homes today. Now, this is not to say that having a cage free baby is for everyone. This is of course the "literal" layer of being cage free.
Now, there is more to it than that. I mean, I couldn't have a blog and just rant and rave about being against the use of cribs could I? Not really. The cages I really mean are not really physical but the cages imposed on us, as mothers, by society. We must work to break out of these cages, or boxes, that society likes to put us in, and our children. We have doctors, nurses, commercials, advertisements, family, friends, and every stranger on the street trying to tell us how to parent, and what we have to buy our children to parent effectively.
When we're pregnant we're bombarded with books on birthing and pregnancy, most of which are skewed in the direction to favor doctors and hospitals. Studies have recently showed that women do not know about their birthing options in the US. Women are fed information that there is no proof of, and then they suffer what is tantamount to rape at the hands of their doctors and nurses, and when they complain, they're told, what do you expect you're having a baby. Women who decide to birth at home are considered dangerous, and women who choose midwives are scoffed at by doctors. Why is the business of birth run by a male dominated field that less than 50 years ago decided that women couldn't handle birth so should be knocked out with drugs that were detrimental to the baby? And previous to that, men in the medical field banned midwives because they offered pain relief with herbal remedies, and felt that women during labor and birth should "suffer" for the sins of Eve. There's not a good tract record here for medical interventions in birth.
When we have infants, we're bombarded with baby care books that tell you different things, and most of them leave out one important thing: you don't need parenting books to be an effective parent. Nearly none of them acknowledge that mothers have instincts, and most try to convince them to override those instincts in favor of "better" parenting. And also with all of this junk we have to buy to keep our child occupied and out of our hair. We have all of these things that separate us from this tiny, perfect person we just brought into the world, and why? Because companies want to make money. A newborn needs some diapers, a mother with a pair of boobs, and maybe some clothes, and that's about it. But the society we live in inundates us with all of the accessories that go with caring for a child. Crib manufactorers distribute SIDs prevention information, while US SIDs rates continue to skyrocket, while countries with little to no use of cribs, have no words for SIDs in their languages because the event is so rare. Doctors' offices have large displays of formula, and doctors receive kickbacks from the companies under the table and give subtle hints to mothers that they should use formula and undermine their attempts to breastfeed without them even knowing.
Wen we have toddlers, we're bombarded with more baby books, and told how to discipline them by every person who comes along. We're told out children need to develop along this path, and parents worry when their child is not exactly like everyone else's child in the ways of development. Doctors and dentists discourage toddler nursing with incorrect information about night nursing damaging teeth in the same way bottles do (which is incredibly incorrect, the mechanics of a natural nipple are no where near the same as an artificial one). Formula companies continue to force "toddler" formula on parents, trying to convince mothers their children cannot get enough nutrition any other way.
And things go on and on. The cages just keep coming and blocking us in. Women with children that fall in the "abnormal" category are scoffed at and told how to raise their kids. They are told that their doctors have made up all this stuff and other ridiculous things.
Book after book comes out to tell moms what to do. But they're not all bad. And that's what this blog is all about. I try to find the things that break us out of the cages and help us all, kids who are neurotypical, kids who are "normal" (whatever that means), kids who are autistic, kids who are ADHD, kids who are bipolar, kids who are just plain kids, reach their greatest potential.
